Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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