Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

The Ohio State Buckeyes

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

im gay

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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