- Anti Joke

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

poo

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.