What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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a irish man walks past a bar

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops