What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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