Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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