A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ur an fagit

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops