Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops