Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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my egg roll

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Error 37.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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