A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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