Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Leave. Now.

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UN

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops