What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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