I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

who's a slut... you're mom

thumb_up thumb_down +21

WILLYS

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops