A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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thomas!!!!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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