What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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A car walks into a bar.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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