A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops