If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops