Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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