Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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