Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops