Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops