A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops