One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Why so serious ?

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops