your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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