If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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bite me

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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Jack Stevens

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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