how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +33

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops