Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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