Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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what do you call a black guy african american

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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