There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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alert("Hello");

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops