Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

This is sparta No this is patrick

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

69

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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