What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops