What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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