If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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