sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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TRICERATOPS!

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops