What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...