Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Where's the soap?

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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