A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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