An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Immigration Laws

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops