Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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aodhan hearty

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops