Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops