Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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