Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

Justin beiber..

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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