Who invented apple? God

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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