Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Christianity.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops