Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops