Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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21

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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