if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

The cream, it is coming

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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