A women walks into a kitchen.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Vagina Boob

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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