I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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Get it? More.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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