I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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arena football

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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